i forgot to turn the light on

I fell into deep sleep.
I've just awoken
but i was left with a dream
a realization(?)
more so an epiphany(!)

As real as it could have been, I don't believe it.
but everything I felt, I saw, I heard, I read.
They were true.

It can be so faint, so insignificant
but cause such a tremendous wave.
but even the most devastating storm
could not destroy/

i've found faith within
today i've reached new levels of love.
not just one, but two!

don't worry
every tear was worth its fall.
to feel is a great thing.
i wouldn't take it back for the world.
if only I could perfect my painting, as i do with you.

still dreaming-


I walked forward
i turned around to look at you
but you were already ahead.

i told you I never felt this way before.
you believed me.
I told you, you were not a part of my plans.
you told me you knew.
I told you i couldn't breath
you held my hand.

Nobody believed us.
You want it all.
Im trying.

there is no trying.
you either do it or you dont.//

so i did it.



im doing it.


I shower you with secrets
under the covers
in rooms.
b you dont mind it.
i never hated you b.
i swear.
heavy heart.
heavy heavy hearts
but nothing is different.

listen!
in my natural state, there is peace of mind.
you by my side.
hearts intertwined.

when a natural state is caused to become an unnatural state...
it is not long until it reverts back into its natural state.

what goes up
must come down.

following?


M brought up the worst,
asked if I was interested.
she was laying it out in front of me,
one by one
they stung.

M was being real.
thanks M.

but she didnt understand.
not like how you understand.
no one really does, anymore.

M, i know you care,
but really, I'm fine.
this is my "natural" state
everything else just reverts back.
I'm tied.



and then.....

i lost my mind.



dream ends.
the realization.
the epiphany?
what was it?

well,






i think you know.